


What We Were

by Shippingfangirl42



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: lapidot - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 02:39:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15962930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shippingfangirl42/pseuds/Shippingfangirl42
Summary: After Peridot and Lapis reform following the events of the Diamonds attack, turmoil rises between them as they find it difficult to tell each other how they feel about the previous events, breaking apart their relationship.





	What We Were

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fan fiction i’ve Posted on Ao3, but definitely not the first i’ve Written. Please leave comments if you like it, or if you don’t, tell me what I could do better. Any constructive criticism is much appreciated. Thank you! Enjoy!

    Bismuth sat on a rock in the sand overlooking the ocean. It'd been a few hours since the rest left for homeworld. In that time, she'd gotten to know Greg a bit before he had to turn in for the night. So here she sat; every so often gazing down at Lapis and Peridot's gems that she'd placed gently in the sand beneath her feet.

    Suddenly, a bright blue light shone in front of her and Lapis Lazuli’s gem rose up as she regenerated. Her new form consisted of her previous blue dress, but the blue diamond was now replaced with a star.

    Lapis sighed and opened her eyes, looking around her. When she saw Bismuth, she gave the slightest smile and greeted her.

    “Hey…” Lapis said to Bismuth, who returned the gesture with a nod. Guilt suddenly flushed through her when she noticed Peridot's motionless gem laying in the sand beside her. “She's not back yet, huh? I would've thought she'd be back before me. She was always in such a hurry to do things…” she said, grabbing her left forearm with her right hand loosely.

    “You guys had something special, didn't ya?” Bismuth asked, looking up at Lapis through soft eyes.

    “I guess you could say that…” Lapis muttered. “I just...I just hope she's not mad at me, after everything I've done to her…Taking the barn, leaving without saying goodbye- leaving without a good _reason._ ” Lapis said sorrowfully, sitting down next to Bismuth on the rock she resided on.

    “Yeah… I heard a little bit about that. She was really messed up about that, according to Amethyst.” Bismuth stated.

    “Ugh, I knew she would be.” Lapis grunted, grasping her hair and clenching her eyes tight. “I feel so-... _stupid_ for leaving when in the end, I came back during the thing I was most afraid of.”

    “What made you come back in the first place?” Bismuth asked, turning her head towards Lapis.

    “I guess… I figured that I would rather die fighting with my friends than live alone forever. And now I know this is exactly what I want. I have a feeling things are only going to get better from here if I let them.” A small smile graced Lapis's lips.

    “That's the spirit!” Bismuth grinned, playfully punching Lapis's shoulder, causing her to wince.

    “So… what's your name again?” Lapis asked after a short, awkward silence sounded between the two gems.

    “Bismuth, at your service. Former member of the Crystal Gems for over 5,000 years.” She smiled proudly, placing both of her muscular hands on her hips. “And you?”

    “Lapis Lazuli, Crystal gem as of...yesterday...I suppose.” She chuckled slightly, looking back up at Bismuth.

    “Good for you. Welcome to the team.” Bismuth grinned, placing her hand on Lapis's shoulder to congratulate her.

    “Thanks…” She said quietly before turning over her thoughts to another subject.

    “You alright?” Bismuth asked, noticing the dismay on the blue gems face.

    “No… I haven't been alright...in a long time.” She said plainly. “But I'm not worried about how _I_ feel at the moment…” she said, tilting her head towards Peridot's gem. “What am I going to say to her? I mean, she must think I don't care about her anymore. The first thing I said to her when I came back was “hey.” Who does that?!” Lapis asked, flustered and blushing.

    “Woah, woah, calm down. I think you should just tell her what's on your mind. Don't you think that's what she'd want?” Bismuth suggested.

    “No no, I-I can't do that. I-” At that moment, Peridot's gem began glowing bright green as she regenerated.

    “I have to go! I-I can't do this right now!” Lapis stuttered as she flew up to the temple, inside what was left of Steven's house.

    As Peridot took form, the first thing she saw was Bismuth's slightly worried expression.

    “Hey short stuff. You're back!” Bismuth smiled somewhat nervously.

    “I sure am! Back and better than ever!” Peridot beamed, showing off the brand new stars on her uniform. “Oh hey…” She said, coming to the realization that they were the only two on the beach. “Where is everyone? Where's Lapis?!” Peridot asked urgently, starting to panic.

    “Steven, Connie, Amethyst, Pearl, garnet, and the Diamonds are on homeworld-” Before Bismuth could continue, Peridot interrupted quickly.

    “The diamonds captured the gems?! Those brutes, I'm gonna smash ‘em!” The small green gem said through her teeth, her hands forming fists.

    “Hold on now. The diamonds are on our side now. Steven explained to them about how Rose was Pink diamond. And that he IS Pink diamond. They were going to try to convince white diamond to heal all the corrupted gems here on Earth.” Bismuth explained.

    “ _White_ Diamond?! They're going to see WHITE diamond!?!” She raised her voice, alarmed about the current situation.

    “Calm down, they'll get it under control...I hope.. “ Bismuth mumbled. “Anyways, Lapis went to the temple, I think.” Bismuth stated as she pointed behind her to the pile of rubble that was Steven house. “Speaking of, I should get to work on that.”

    “I've gotta go find Lapis.” Peridot said, determined.

    As the green gem walked up the rickety stairs to the temple, she thought of what she was going to say to Lapis. ‘ _I missed you?’ 'why did you leave me?’ 'don’t ever go anywhere again?’_ At this point, Peridot didn't think it mattered. All she cared about was that Lapis was finally back home where she belonged.

    When Peridot reached the door, she saw Lapis sitting on the couch, slumped over with her hands covering her face.

    “Lapis!” She said excitedly, running towards her. Lapis shot her head up, gasping slightly from the startle.

    “H-hey Peridot.” Lapis said as she wiped a stray tear from her eye.

    “So, uhh.. “ Peridot struggled for something to say to continue their long awaited conversation.

    “Look, I gotta go. I just...need some time to myself for a few minutes, alright? I'll be back.” The words stumbled out of Lapis's mouth quickly before she spread her wings and fled through the hole in the roof.

    “Umm...o-ok…” Peridot stuttered, her heart suddenly breaking into a million pieces. She hadn't even had the time to give her a proper 'welcome back.’

    “Hey shorty, what's wrong?” Bismuth asked once she noticed Lapis was no longer in sight.

   “She left me again. I think she hates me…” Peridot said meekly, dropping to her knees and staring blankly ahead.

    “I think she just needs a little time to think about some things. Give it a few days, ok?” Bismuth consoled her.

    With that being said, Peridot _did_ give her her space for as long as she could stand it. Days had passed since Lapis had said _anything_ to her. She was starting to give up hope on their relationship.

    Within those few days, Steven, Connie, and the gems returned. Peridot hadn't paid much attention to what they had said about their journey to homeworld. She was more concerned about Lapis for the time being.

    Peridot looked down at the beach to see Lapis sitting in the sand, alone, as usual. At that moment, she decided that Lapis has had enough time to herself, it was finally time that they talked whether she liked it or not.

    Peridot made her way down to the beach and stood behind Lapis, who looked back at her quickly before turning her attention back to the ocean view.

    Peridot sighed when Lapis didn't say anything to her, even though she knew very well that she was standing right behind her. So Peridot decided to speak up.

    “So...are we going to talk about this, or what?” She asked quietly and slightly irritated.

    “Talk about what?” Lapis mumbled under her breath.

    Peridot winced at Lapis's incompetence. “Well, we could talk about how you left me...or how you're ignoring me… You haven't even talked to me since we reformed...” She grumbled.

    Lapis once again didn't say anything, which struck a nerve in Peridot.

    “You can't even look at me!!” She yelled suddenly, clenching her fists. Her sudden raised voice caused Lapis to jump slightly.

    “Look, I'm sorry… I just thought that if...if I left you alone, I... wouldn't disappoint you again…” Lapis muttered.

    “Wh-...why would you think that's a good idea?! You left me for _months,_ Lapis! The last thing I want to be right now is alone! I just...I miss what we used to be...” Peridot yelled, her face becoming red with anger.

    “Yeah well, I'm not like you! I missed you too, but I still need my space! I need time to think about everything that's happened, ok?!” Lapis yelled back, balling her hands Into fists. “You know, sometimes I wish I was still in that mirror…then I wouldn't have to deal with my stupid problems… sometimes I wish you never brought me to Earth…” Lapis's voice quaked, her previous words replaying like a broken record inside Peridot's head.

    Peridot quickly turned her back to Lapis, covering her mouth in an attempt to quiet her sudden, uncontrollable sobs. Hot tears pooled in her eyes and streamed down her face. At that moment, everything around her seemed to disappear. She hadn't noticed where Lapis had went, or when she left. Peridot fled up to the temple, wiping the tears that continuously streamed down her face. When she reached the temple, she ran past Amethyst, her shoulder bumping against hers on her way to the still in tact bathroom.

    “Woah, Pear, what's wrong?” Amethyst asked urgently, dropping everything she was doing and rushing. to the now closed bathroom door.

    Without asking, Amethyst opened the door slowly. She peaked her head in to see a very distraught Peridot with her back up against the bathtub. Her teeth grit together as she tried as hard as she could to choke back the overwhelming sobs and anger.

    “Peri, what happened?” Amethyst asked as she quickly rushed to her side.

    “L-Lapis hates m-me…” she stuttered, struggling with her words.

    “Oh...oho, she's gonna get a good piece of me.” Amethyst lowered her voice and cracked her knuckles. She touched Peridot's shoulder gently before leaving her. “I'll be back.” Amethyst grunted, stomping out of the bathroom on a lookout for Lapis.

    When she'd finally spotted her on the beach a ways away from the temple, she quickly made her way over to her.

    “Lapis!” Amethyst yelled from a short distance away, startling her. “Do you know what you just did?!”

    “Listen, I just needed some time alo-” Lapis began meekly before Amethyst interrupted her.

    “Shut your mouth and let me talk!” She yelled again, her voice fuming with rage. “You've had _months_ to yourself! And right now, whether you like it or not, you need to make up to Peridot _right now_ . You _broke_ her heart when you left! It took Steven and I _months_ to build her back up to a point when she didn't think every _single_ thing in her life was worthless. Now look what you've done. You've made her even _worse_ than before. All because of your stupid, selfish actions!” Sweat ran down Amethyst forehead due to the overwhelming rage taking over her body. 

    Tears formed in Lapis's eyes as a result of Amethyst’s hurtful words. She stood still, shocked about everything Amethyst had told her.

    “I-I...I'm sorry…” her voice cracked as her legs gave out, dropping her to her knees.

    “Yeah, sorry’s not gonna cut it, dude. You better go in there and tell her how bad you messed up. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't want to talk to you though.” Amethyst crossed her arms, glaring at Lapis out of the corner of her eye.

    Without another word, Lapis ran to the temple. Assuming Peridot was in the bathroom, she knocked on the door. From inside, a meek voice replied.

    “C-come in.” Peridot's voice was strained from crying.

    “I'll be here listening… if you say anything wrong… you're dead.” Amethyst said seriously as she leaned up against the wall by the bathroom.

    Lapis swallowed the lump in her throat and cautiously walked in the bathroom. Peridot sat against the bathtub, tears stained her cheeks; her eyes swollen and red from crying.

    “Peridot… I-I need to talk to you…” Lapis mumbled, closing the door behind her. “Can I sit?” She asked, pointing to a spot on the floor next to Peridot.

    Peridot nodded slightly, avoiding making eye contact as she wiped stray tears from her face.

    “Look...I'm really sorry about flipping out on you earlier.” Lapis began, “I just… I didn't have time to think about exactly what I wanted to say to you when I came back… I knew you were probably going to be mad at me, and that's why I wanted to take time to think of what to say…” Lapis hesitated, choking down a sob while trying to say what she needed to. “I guess there's really not much I couldn't say at this point other than… I'm sorry… I was so selfish and I really regret it… and… I missed you...a lot.” Lapis looked down guiltily, waiting for Peridot's response. Without any warning, Peridot jumped up and wrapped her arms around Lapis's neck, squeezing her as tight as she could.

    “I missed you too.” Peridot choked down a sob. “I-I'm so glad you're back. I was just.. worried that you hated me there for a while… I thought I did something wrong…” Peridot muttered.

    “I could never hate you.” A small smile graced Lapis's lips as she grabbed Peridot's shoulders and brought her in for another hug.

    Amethyst stood quietly and unnoticed in the doorway of the bathroom with her arms crossed, leaning against the door frame.

    “My work here is done.” She said satisfied. “Seems like screaming in people's faces pays off after all.” She shrugged as she watched the pair pull away from their heartfelt hug, looking each other in they eyes before they both leaned in for a kiss. 

    Amethyst was taken back by their sudden affection. Garnet then walked up behind her, also gettin g a glance at the sight.

    “They should just get it over with and fuse already.” Garnet said plainly, resulting in Amethyst snorting and bursting out in laughter. 


End file.
